We have all heard the age-old definition of Assume. If you assume………you make an ASS out of U and ME. Now with that said, assumptions are a part of our daily life. It could be argued that a decision is made not based on an assumption but more a hypothesis or educated guess. Regardless of the semantics, the fact remains that the average person encounters multiple assumptions throughout the day – some assumptions they make as well as some assumptions made by others.
I can’t think of any better example of a day filled with assumptions than a recent wedding that I attend in Las Vegas. It was a beautiful day, but a warm day. My youngest son could focus on nothing other than going in the multiple pools at the Las Vegas hotel. Being that the wedding was scheduled in the early afternoon, we leveraged the pool as a bargaining chip.
Due to the dense population of people walking the Las Vegas strip as well as the challenging parking, it was assumed that it would be more practical to take a taxi to the wedding location than drive our own vehicle. Although this plan appeared practical on the surface, there was a deeper assumption that was not even taken into account. There was no consideration whether or not the taxi would have adequate fuel to take us the full trip. To make matters worse…..it would also be assumed that a taxi driver would be fully aware of the amount of fuel in his vehicle prior to it actually running out of gas.
It is 30 minutes before the wedding was scheduled to start. It was 106 degrees on the Las Vegas strip. We were dressed in formal wear sitting in a taxi that had run out of gas. The orchestra of horns began sounding behind us as my wife says; we need to get another cab.
As I stepped out of the taxi, I noticed three large tattoo filled men from the car behind us walking towards me. As my son coincidently jumped out of the back door of the taxi, the men immediately stop. I said to them that the taxi ran out of gas and we need to find ourselves another one. My wife and my younger son immediately walked next to me. The closest man said; it ran out of gas? As I stood there melting in the tremendous heat of wearing a suit I replied; yes can you believe it?
He looked back at his friends and then turned back to me and said; would you like us to push it out of the way so the other cars could get by? I said that would be greatly appreciated. I thanked him and told him that we have to rush to a wedding. He then said; “you have a nice day Mr. Congressman.”
My oldest son recently returned from Marine training at Quantico Virginia. Therefore, he has the Marine hair, looks, and potential attitude. My wife said that as the man was walking towards me, the ironic timing of my son stepping out of the taxi put him right in front of me – between his physical appearance and dress attire the man apparently assumed he was Secret Service.
Although I made the assumption of the taxi and the gentlemen driving behind us made the assumption of my political stature, we ultimately made it to the wedding and witnessed the beautiful marriage of two loving individuals. The day was almost perfect, but not yet in my youngest son’s mind. The day would only be complete with hours enjoyed in the incredibly large and playful Las Vegas Pool.
Wedding ceremonies and receptions are enjoyed by adults, but they are traditionally viewed as boring and never-ending for children. Therefore, it is common practice for parents when given a bargaining chip to exploit it to its fullest capacity. With that said, my son was exceptionally well-behaved at the wedding, but he was also exceptionally focused on jumping in the pool minutes after our return to the hotel.
Here lied the most painful assumption of the day. We returned to the hotel. My son was out of his dress clothes and into his swimsuit in less than 30 seconds. He impatiently waited for me to change before we headed down to the pool area. I don’t think I could express adequately his level of disappointment when we arrived at the pool area only to realize that it was closed for the evening. The temperature was still in the triple digits. Who would have ever imagined that in Las Vegas the hotels close the pools at 7:00 pm so that the people begin to focus on gambling and clubbing?
Needless to say, my son was of the belief that this was all orchestrated while I was claiming ignorance. This was truly a case in which I assumed and it made an ASS out of me. We did our best to alleviate the disappointment of our son, but in the end, the only way to overcome the disappointment was to extend our trip several hours so that he could adequately enjoy the pleasures of the pool that he so rightly deserved.
In the end, life is filled with assumptions – some with positive results while others have negative, some assumptions could be removed by simply obtaining additional information while others must be made with the limited information at hand. Nonetheless, we must always live with the outcome. The one accurate assumption made this trip was that we were going to witness the start of a loving marriage between two incredible people and for that I am grateful.
Husband, father, coffee connoisseur and lover of all things hockey. At 51 I sometimes wonder have I done enough. I have been married to my best friend for 30 years. She knows all my faults and loves me anyway, As a father of “almost always” perfect boys, I am always surprised at what life has to offer. It is messy, scary, thrilling, and always fun.